I'm like an abentee landlord.

I'm so sorry for not posting in such a long time. I think I've come to the point that all pregnant infertiles go through. I liken it to survivor's guilt. While there have been many wonderful announcements in the blogging kingdom as of late, there are still those lovely women who have been left behind. I want happiness for all of you whether it be pregnancy or adoption or surrogacy or whatever.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm thrilled that I've even been given the opportunity to be where I am. Everything is looking OK. During my 1st official OB visit, we had a u/s and everything was where it should be and measuring appropriately. We still had a heartbeat at 8w2d, I've had no spotting, and my nausea has arrived. Everything is sinking in slowly but surely. Maybe I'll actually feel safe to announce it to more people once the 1st trimester is over.

I have u/s pictures and am thinking about posting them here. I'd like to take an unofficial poll in my comment section for this post of whether or not you'd like to see them. I would be absolutely fine with not posting them, so you won't be hurting my feelings. Please be honest.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Still hanging in there.

Hey everyone.

Just wanted to post a quick update. Our u/s yesterday went well. It appears that the bleed has all but disappeared and all you ladies who said it was a subchorionic hematoma get first place because that is, in fact, what it was.

We still have no actual heartbeat number but it looked nice and strong. The RE finally fessed up yesterday that he didn't know how to get a heartbeat count using the u/s. I had to snicker at that one.

We've been released to the regular OB. My first OB appt. is next Tuesday. By next Tuesday I'll be 8w2d. This will be farther than I made it last time. Last time I had some bleeding at 8w4d and went in to have an u/s done and it showed that the baby had died at 8 weeks. So if all goes well till next appt. and that u/s shows everything is fine, we'll have made it farther along in this pregnancy than we did in the last.

The last two ultrasounds have given me some peace of mind, the one next week will be even better if everything stays good. It's always about waiting.

Thanks again for all of your comments and support. You ladies mean so much to me and I don't know what I'd do without all of you.

Distractions are good.

Thanks for this quiz Bugsy. I'll be interested to see what everyone's results are.

You Are 53% American

Most times you are proud to be an American. Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home. You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

How American Are You?

Also, Donnie over at BabyQuest and Tania at Infertility Squared have received some wonderful news. They are, indeed, pregnant and confirmed by doctors. Stop by and give them some love.

Thanks for coming to the rescue.

You ladies are awesome. Thanks for all the well wishes and congratulations.

Thanks also for the information that I asked for. It seems like it's a unanimous vote for subchorionic hematoma (SH). While it does sound a bit like what I have, I haven't had any bleeding, which seems to be the hallmark of SH. I will call the doctor about this today. It seems that some google info says to rest and other info says to continue as normal. So I'm unsure whether I should exercise as planned tonight or not. I will update later once I have an answer.

Thanks again for all of your help with this. I'd be lost without each and every one of you.

Oh BTW, go give some love to my friend Dramalish. She was trying to be a big girl and wait for her beta on Friday, but got anxious and tested yesterday. Lo and behold, there were 2 lines.

The wait is over.

There is a heartbeat. The doc said it was nice and strong but didn't count the bpm. I'm pretty relieved right now. I'm measuring 6w1d and flipper is measuring 5 mm, I'm good with that.

The semi-bad news is that there is visible blood just outside the gestational sack. It's small and the doctor doesn't seem to be concerned. I tried to google for some info but couldn't find much. I'd appreciate any info that you ladies have about it.

I've not been able to sleep very well for the past few nights even though I'm tired as hell. I think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I go back next Wednesday for another u/s.

I'm pretty happy/relieved/tired right now. Right after the u/s, I just cried and cried. It was a good cry though. I was so happy and it was such an emotional time. I know the war has just begun, but at least we won this battle.

Now, I have to go and catch up with all you dames.

So remember when I said...

that I would be OK if I didn't see a heartbeat tomorrow (see this post)? I'd like to recant that statement because I'm a big, fat liar. After intensive googling, I've decided that if I don't see a hearbeat tomorrow of 90-110 then I will be pretty bummed and a bit devastated.

I'm excited/nervous/anxious/scared about tomorrow. I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights. I'm dog-assed tired, but when I finally get to bed I toss and turn and wake up easily. I hope tomorrow's news will afford me at least one good night's sleep.

I will update as soon as I can tomorrow.

Shout Outs

We've had some pretty awesome news in the kingdom today.

Julie has just received word on her referral and it's a boy. She is elated, you should stop by and visit.

Kim has gotten her slip and is leaving Monday to pick her son (Gabe) up from Guatemala. Stop by and wish her luck too.

I am so happy for both of you and can't wait to see pics of your sons. Congratualtions moms!

Test

I did it, it worked. I now have an image in my profile.

All's quiet on the Western front.

Nothing new or exciting going on. I'm 5w3d and still holding my breath.

The holiday was nice. My company was closed yesterday as well and since I get all of my blogging done at work, I didn't post. I've had a chance to catch up with all of you and it appears that all is well and fairly quiet.

T minus 7 days until the first u/s. I keep going back and forth in my mind of whether or not I want another beta before next Wednesday. Is knowing a couple days sooner that something may go bad going to make me feel any better? I think not. So these next couple days I will do my best to just wait, be patient, and enjoy being pregnant one more day. I hope I can keep this zen attitude for the next 35 weeks. I doubt I'll be able to, but the thought of it is nice. (Look there, I actually said something positive, I said for the next 35 weeks. Wow, I'm growing already.)

ooohhhhmmmm, oooohhhhmmmm, ooohhhhhmmmm